And Here We Go!

Our first appointment is scheduled at the fertility clinic. It's a large, reputable, LGBT-friendly clinic with several sites, one of which is less than ten minutes from our house and right by Nicole's job, which will make ongoing appointments very convenient for her. I'm less concerned about convenience, it's a bit easier for me to take sick days or go in late when needed, and I want Nicole to be able to come to all the appointments with me. It's definitely not feasible for her to go into Manhattan and back on a weekday!

I made the appointment in July, within a week of coming home and seeing Nicole looking at donor profiles online. I wasn't sure how to present myself to the receptionist, and I thought saying I wanted to schedule a free consultation would be enough. That's what it said on the website, after all. I thought it would be straightforward enough that the next question would be, "okay, when would you like to come in?" But instead, she asked me what the purpose of my visit was. I paused and then stammered, "What do you mean? I want the initial consultation. When I clicked for 'more information' on the website, it said I could have a free consultation. I guess I just want to start the process." Smooth. She said, "Yes, but what is your issue? Have you been having difficulty getting pregnant?"

Ah. I'd let myself forget how I have to "come out" in new arenas. Of course that would be the assumption made when someone calls a fertility clinic. (Especially since it's actually called an infertility clinic, and I just edit it for my own purposes.) I said, "Oh, well we are a same-sex couple wanting to conceive." As awkward as it was to say that when it went against her assumption, her voice immediately brightened. I guess if you are used to dealing with calls from sad, frustrated, struggling people, maybe it is welcome to get a call from someone who is excited and hopeful. They rarely see people at the beginning of their fertility journey, I imagine.

I requested an October appointment, and she said, amused, "October? That's kind of far ahead, we are only booked up through August right now." Well, how was I supposed to know how far ahead you get booked up? Give me credit for being proactive in my planning! She asked when we want to conceive, and with my heart in my throat, I said, "December." She said, "Oh okay, then October is perfect for that first meeting. Bring your most recent PAP and bloodwork, and I'll send you paperwork to fill out in advance and bring with you." So next I had to schedule a GYN appointment for September 30 so that I will be all good to go!

Of course I started filling out the paperwork the next day when she sent it to me. I was just so excited and it felt like something I could get started on before October, which felt soooo far away. It is INTENSE. I know its target audience is couples struggling with fertility, but since, despite the medical process, I feel more closely aligned with couples who are just starting to try to get pregnant, it just hit me as very odd that someone needed to know all this about me in order to try! I mean, it is pages and pages of questions, and it was just so surreal to think of how little preparation and thought need to go into an average opposite-sex couple's initial attempts to get pregnant. You could check off "yes" for all these boxes of health issues, and still be allowed to just try to get pregnant without anyone's advice or input. It just felt so odd! It felt like we were applying to have a baby.

I'm so excited for October. I can't wait to learn about what is next!