Intro to Judaism - Week 5

To cut or not to cut? Never before was that a question.

When we first started talking about conversion, I told Nicole that I felt so strongly against circumcision that no way would I allow "them" to pressure me into it if we have a baby boy. Even if it meant being ostracized, I couldn't do something to my child that I felt was wrong just to fit in or receive approval.

Don't try to tell me it's "cleaner." The American Medical Association stopped recommending it years and years ago, acknowledging that there was no medical benefit. Circumcision for non-religious reasons is really an American and Canadian phenomenon - why is that? Is all of, say, Europe just filthy people? And if it's so much cleaner, and we can't just teach our boys how to properly wash themselves, shouldn't we start removing labia so we don't have to teach girls how to clean between them either? Sure would make it easier and "cleaner."

There is an evolutionary reason for the foreskin. It's protective and it maintains the sexual sensitivity of the glans by keeping it moist instead of dry and callused. And for every story of someone who had issues with their foreskin as an older child or adult and had to have it removed then, there is a story of a botched circumcision that left the male with discomfort the rest of their lives. So don't give me those anecdotes as a reason to circumcise either.

What it comes down to is that I have trouble with the idea of making a permanent alteration to my child's body without their consent, when I see no necessity for it. I've had a couple Jewish people mention how it's cleaner and "looks nicer" - which is of course entirely subjective, as I've only ever been exposed to an uncircumcised penis (my first sexual partner and boyfriend of six years) and think THAT looks nicer - but no one is going to win me with that argument. A religious conviction that this is the best thing for my child would be the ONLY thing that could convince me. It doesn't make sense to me for a Jew to try to convince me of the cleanliness of it, or other perceived benefits, when Jews have never circumcised for that reason.

I told Nicole that I can't wait to actually sit down with our rabbi to talk about this, because I have such a high level of respect for her that I think, if she can approach it sensitively with regard to my concerns and reservations, she might be able to get to me. Unfortunately we have struggled to make appointments with her - we took a break for the Jewish holidays which would keep her very busy, and then the hurricane happened and threw everything out of whack.

Then I read the assigned readings in regards to circumcision, and DAMMIT if they don't know how to get to me. The writers acknowledge that there is no other reason to do it except for the fact that it is a covenant with God. The fact that they don't try to convince the reader on other reasons for it took down that initial guard I have up when the topic arises. I found myself being less resistant and more open to what I was reading, and understanding better the reason for it. I also found myself feeling less scared of the actual procedure, which seems so different in a loving, celebratory home environment in the arms of a godparent than strapped to a board in a hospital.

I'm still struggling with it, and probably always will, but I think that's okay. I do have to say I'm surprised that I'm even considering it, though. And while it's a relief in some ways, it's also a bit of a disappointment. I've been such an advocate against circumcision (mostly just against doing it based on myths - I think parents should do their own research before making a decision instead of just going along with it) and it's kind of a let down to be going backward. I still feel uncertain and I still have a hard time with making such a permanent alteration to my child's perfect body, but I also don't want my own militance on the issue to compromise my son's sense of spirituality and connectedness to his God and his community.