There are so many questions in this week's suggested topic that I will probably work better responding to each one individually, rather than writing an essay the way I typically do.
Disclaimer: I reserve the right to have my views on God change and evolve dramatically throughout my lifetime. My responses here reflect only what I believe as of the next fifteen minutes or so. Returning to this conversation at any future point could yield different results.
What do I believe about God?
I believe God is a divine and eternal singular entity, and I believe that this Divine Presence is in every soul and every living thing on Earth. I believe that God is a life-giving source. I do not believe that God makes it a habit to interfere on our behalf or our enemies' behalf at the request of individuals with their own motives and self-serving desires. I believe that God is hands-off for the most part, holding us responsible for how we handle what God has set in motion. I believe that I am responsible for my own fate, and that being passive or inactive in my own life does not make the consequence part of "God's plan." I do not believe in sitting back and waiting for God to make a decision for me.
How has my view of God changed over time?
My childhood view of God was that of a Protective Father, a king on a throne. I do still find God to be comforting, but more in a sense of helping me cope and find peace rather than expecting God to protect me from anything negative. This is much like the evolution of one's views of one's own parents. As a child, they seem invincible and - if you are blessed with the safe childhood that I had - you feel 100% comfortable and protected from harm. It seems there is nothing they can't handle. Then you grow up and realize there are outside influences and your parents can only protect you so much - but you appreciate the self-esteem and healthy coping skills that they instilled in you, as well as their ongoing support.
What is my relationship, if any, with God? How does this relationship affect my actions and decisions?
This is tough to articulate, but I'll try. I feel like God's partner in the mission of tikkun olam - repairing the world. (This also happens to be my agency's motto, so I'm familiar with it beyond my more recent and intensive exposure to Judaism.) I am God's hand, God's tool. When I see a homeless woman begging on the subway, I buy her a slice of pizza because God can't. God wants to help her, so I help God help her. And when she says, "Thank you, God bless you," I think she knows this. I feel like this in everything that I do, and it makes me more aware of the impact of my decisions. Preparing to take on the yoke of the Torah and enter into the covenant has increased this awareness a hundred-fold. It has made me feel God more active in my life through my actions.
What do I believe about the relationship between the existence of God and the existence of evil in the world?
Throughout my reading of Finding God, which I referenced a couple posts back, I noticed the question of evil come up in relation to every Jewish scholar/philosopher. Personally, I didn't get why the author felt like each school of thought needed to respond to this, because to me it isn't an issue. Evil and God have nothing to do with one another in my mind. It seems clear to me that evil is a creation of humans, and if we believe in free will, how can we blame God for this? It is our own responsibility to show kindness, compassion, and justice, and to confront evil in others. I also struggle with the word "evil" altogether, because it seems to have an unredeemable connotation, and I believe very little - if anything - is pure, unredeemable evil. I believe there is pain and trauma behind most acts of cruelty. People can be as broken as our world is, and broken people may break people. It is our responsibility, as individuals and as a society, to heal and to stop this cycle. This has nothing to do with God and everything to do with us and our own obligation to the world and one another.
Do I believe I can communicate with God, and if so, how?
I personally don't feel that I have a reciprocal dialogue with God, but I communicate with God through prayer, which is often in the form of letting myself feel a particular emotion as strongly as possible without having to try to give words to it. I also feel in communication with God when I'm in nature, particularly in the Blue Ridge mountains of my homeland, but really anywhere that brings me back to the rawness of God's creation. This has always, always been true for me, even during my ten-year hiatus from organized religion. I also believe that I am communicating with God when I am acting as God's partner as described earlier. Action can be its own form of prayer.
What are your thoughts about the differences between Chanukah and Christmas and other religious celebrations? How might you handle the two holidays if there is one Jewish and one non-Jewish partner in your family?
I am fortunate that we are in agreement on identifying as a Jewish family. The difficulty comes in letting go of Christian traditions that have much nostalgia attached to them and which continue to be important to our families of origin. The primary difference for us is that my family celebrated them religiously and Nicole's celebrated them secularly. I worry about making Chanukah a bigger holiday than it is intended to be in order to "compete" with the commercialization of Christmas, but at the same time, I acknowledge that this is pretty normative among American Jews. I do think we don't need an excess of gifts - the disgusting level of consumerism that is associated with the December holidays is one thing I'm very happy and relieved to give up, and I'd like to keep Chanukah gift-giving a bit simpler. I think feeling secure in my Jewish identity will allow me to enjoy the festivity of someone else's celebrations (such as store decorations and lights on houses) without feeling afraid that I'll feel like I'm missing out. I have heard non-Jews talk about how they drive through Brooklyn looking at sukkahs during Sukkot because they're so beautiful and amazing to see. They don't say, "Man, I really wish I was part of that culture and could build a sukkah..." They just enjoy the beauty of someone else's culture. I don't see why that can't be my eventual view of Christmas.
Judaism does not recognize Jesus as the son of God or as the Messiah, nor does Judaism include the New Testament in its Holy Scriptures. How do I feel about this? What are the most apparent differences between Judaism and Christianity to me?
The most apparent differences to me are:
1. Jews do not believe the Messiah has come and that Jesus is God. The Messianic Age will come about when the world is perfect, which it has not yet been, and we have a responsibility to bring that about. We are responsible for our own salvation.
2. Jews do not emphasize the afterlife and are more concerned about how one lives in the here-and-now, without a promise of eternal reward or threat of damnation.
3. Jews do not believe that you have to be an exclusive member of the club in order to have a place in the world-to-come. Any righteous person shares the same fate, and a righteous non-Jew is better off than a non-observant and non-righteous Jew.
4. Jews emphasize works and actions over declarations of faith.
5. Jews openly and warmly welcome sincere converts but do not actively seek them out. Jews would rather have a small, sincere community than to risk diluting Jewish values and integrity for the sake of increasing numbers.
6. Jews emphasize being part of a people with a history and a destiny, being part of a community and culture rich in traditions and rituals, rather than focusing so much on one's individual relationship with God. Converting to Judaism is about much more than feeling called to a particular faith and set of beliefs.
How do I feel about all this? All of the above points are exactly why I feel I belong in the Jewish community.
What are the similarities?
Believing in one God, observing a weekly day of rest through worship and praise as a community, studying Biblical texts in an effort to relate them to our modern lives, being led in prayer and song by a clergy member, blessing food before eating, valuing family, educating one's children through weekly classes and other congregational activities, the obligation of helping those in need.
What holiday memories of my youth are especially dear to me?
I come from a family full of traditions. I've always known that marriage would mean adapting those traditions to fit my new family, incorporating what we can from both of our traditions as well as making our own. Judaism just requires even more adaptation in order to keep what's important to me. For instance, some cherished holiday memories include watching Christmas movies with mugs of cocoa and warm socks - couldn't this be a winter tradition with a different type of movie? Another warm memory is of racing downstairs to a pile of presents and being ecstatic that Santa came. I have struggled for years with whether I wanted to continue the tradition of Santa with my own kids, for a multitude of reasons, and always felt like I wanted to downsize the excessive gift-giving to decrease the opportunity for greed and envy. Judaism gives me a good reason and a strong framework for making this adjustment by eliminating Christmas altogether and "replacing" it with a more minor holiday. I'm also just not struggling as much anymore with my own nostalgia and memories because I'm excited to create new ones for my own kids, which certainly don't need to replicate my own childhood.
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