And we have seed!!!
Well, technically we don't have it yet. And technically we aren't 100% sure that it is still available. But we know what we want and are hoping for the best, and will cross any other bridges when we get to them.
Last Thursday, we went out to dinner with our fellow lesbian-couple friends A&A who have a 20-month-old and a 3-year-old. The little one was conceived by an anonymous donor, and the older one was conceived using a known donor. Our friends were asking us about where we were in the whole process and we told them we had begun looking at donor profiles. We told them a bit about the main traits we were looking for, and they both jumped in excitedly to say that our description matched their little one's donor and they would have no weirdness around us using that donor as well.
Nicole and I looked at each other and knew right away that we were on the same page with this - an immediate excitement and sense of "oh YES, of course, this is right!!" None of us were uncomfortable or weirded out by it, and in fact we all felt a sense of comfort in knowing we'd know at least one other child born of this donor, as opposed to just having no idea. We were also in instant agreement that our kids would not be raised with any sense of being siblings or half-siblings, but also not planning on hiding anything from them. It will just always be what it is - hey, your friend N had the same donor as you. Cool. And they just are never, ever allowed to date! :)
So we have our sperm - Jewish, dark hair and eyes, college-educated, of both Eastern and Western European descent, pretty solid health history, and willing to be known by the child when the child turns 18 if the child so wishes. Everything that has been important to us! And on top of that, it's at a sperm bank that is a little cheaper than the others we've been looking at, and we didn't have to pay to view the profiles or the baby photo. Our friends had already done that and showed us on their phone at dinner.
The donor is from California and was just donating while in school here in NYC. I like that he probably isn't still donating in NYC, and if he is still donating, it is probably now in California. However, this also means we don't know if there is still a supply from him here. But we are certainly excited and hopeful!
I love, love, love the nontraditional ways of queer family-making. It can be so communal and loving and supportive, and I just adore it.
Ha, no need to play devil's advocate - we don't put all our eggs in one basket! (pun kind of intended) We have a couple top choice profiles that we had chosen before this opportunity presented itself, and we will go with one of those if this one isn't available. But the procedure won't happen until at least December and we won't wait til then to buy a vial. We would be doing that a few months beforehand, and will know then whether we have this one or need to choose one of our other top picks.
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