Thursday, June 5, 2014

The Importance of Support

I can't say enough how glad I am that we have let the people close to us be part of this journey.

We ran into one of Nicole's coworkers in the waiting room once, someone she had never really spoken to before, and instantly bonded over this shared struggle. We have hung out with them several times now and appreciate having someone else who gets it and is in it right now. We check in with each other all the time.

My closest friends think to reach out to me once in a while to ask how it's going and how I'm holding up. This morning my best friend sent me a text with just hearts, which I received as I was waiting for the sperm to be washed. She was thinking of me at that very moment and just wanted me to know that.

My family is rooting for us nonstop and allow me to fill their phones with group texts at every stage of the process. They are excited and encouraging at every step, never telling me not to get excited or not to get my hopes up.

Our cantor didn't even blink when I asked him during Tikkun Leil Shavuot if I could use the privacy of his office to take my 9:00 injection at the break.

My coworker who had five IUI cycles before conceiving keeps an open door so I can come have a "moment" in her office after getting the official call in the middle of a workday. She helps put me back together and gives me the space to grieve for a bit before facing the rest of the day.

My other coworker, who is struggling to conceive their third and is doing IUI, checks in weekly to see what is going on with us and to share her own challenges. She is someone with whom I never have to feel like I'm talking about it too much.

Our friends A&A are our only same-sex-parenting friends, our only friends who have been here and can give us a different perspective than anyone else can. They also gave us a hand-done Chinese fertility drawing that they used when they were going through this to hang in our bedroom, and heaps of books and magazines.

This is tough stuff, and I can't imagine going it alone. Being surrounded by love and support and positive energy keeps us uplifted when we most need it.

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