Feminist Faith

Tonight I went to a Women's Seder at our synagogue. I don't think I really knew what to expect, and I was totally blown away.

When I was first notified of the seder, I had wanted to sign up, but Nicole knew she wouldn't be up to two majorly social events in one day (we had my friend Allyson's engagement party from 12-3 in Roslyn). I debated whether to go by myself or not. I had gone by myself to my first Torah study about a month ago and enjoyed it immensely; it was a good reminder that I can do things I'm interested in even if Nicole isn't up for it. But this would be a much more social event, and I thought I might feel really awkward by myself.

There are two other women our age who attend services regularly, and we have gotten quite comfortable with them. One of them is on Facebook and messaged us a few days ago saying they were both wondering if we were going to the seder. I told them Nicole wouldn't be going so I had been on the fence about it, but would go if they were so I would be able to sit with people I know. She broke it to me that they would both be singing during the event so they wouldn't be sitting at the regular tables. Bummer, but her reaching out was the motivation I needed to commit.

It was held in the ballroom where they have bar and bat mitzvah parties and maybe even wedding receptions. It was a gorgeous room and was set up so beautifully. Everyone kept asking me where Nicole was and I had to keep explaining that she was overwhelmed and overstimulated from the first social event and wasn't up for a second. It was sweet that she was missed!

We are members of this synagogue, and I am studying with this rabbi, because we were so warmly welcomed at the first service we attended. As two major introverts, the importance of that can't be overstated. I got the same feeling tonight, except with even more genuine warmth because people are getting to know us. The woman whose face was the first I ever saw, who greeted us and showed us where to go that first day in January of last year, invited me to sit with her. She was helping get the event started so she told me the name of someone she was sitting with so I could find the table. Well of course I didn't know who that person was, so I still started to wander a little aimlessly. Then the mother of one of the young women I mentioned earlier, who also sits near us every week at services, greeted me excitedly and invited me over to her table with her mother-in-law. Then there were two other women who knew each other, and a family of five with four generations of Jewish women - great-grandmother, grandmother, mother (the other two are her in-laws), and two little girls about 7 and 9. Absolutely beautiful.

The seder recognized and made visible the ignored and minimized roles of women in the Exodus and throughout biblical history. I can't even say more than that to honor this event without typing up the entire haggadah. It was moving and empowering and I heard two different women say it made them wish they had daughters to share this with.

Can I love liberal Judaism any more?? What's next? This seder made me proud of my synagogue and proud to be a Jew. Or proud to be becoming a Jew, I guess I should say. I also just so appreciated the company. We had some captivating conversations about Judaism in general when one woman revealed that her son and his wife had become Orthodox after having both been raised Reform, and how that impacts her grandchildren's level of observance, how she hosts holidays, etc. It was so refreshing to be around a group of Jews having this kind of discussion. With my beloved Intro to Judaism class having just ended last Thursday, it was a much-needed reminder that I can still have that sense of community and engaging conversation.