Here It Comes!!!

It's really happening!

My rabbi confirmed an appointment with a mikvah for April 19 at 12:30, so everything else can fall around that. It has been such a process just to find a time that works for everyone on the beit din  (a court of three clergy), and then after that was the ordeal of finding a mikvah that allows Reforms to use it and has availability that day. It has taken weeks and weeks to schedule, and when Rabbi told me Friday at our appointment that it was confirmed, I wanted to jump out of my seat with excitement. My joy was infectious, and Rabbi was smiling and hugged me so tight. I am sure going to miss meeting with her, but am so grateful for this time to develop a personal relationship with her. I feel so fortunate to have had all of this one-on-one time with her. I know it's a privilege that not everyone gets.

Speaking of which, I am getting more and more attached to OUR rabbi and OUR synagogue. I'm not elevating this attachment above Judaism or God, as evidenced by my attendance at a different syngagogue's Holocaust commemoration ceremony this morning in addition to ours because I was drawn to their guest speaker. I'm able to enjoy events and community outside of my synagogue, even when I go alone and don't know anyone else there. But I have a home in Temple Tikvah, and that feeling has become intense very quickly without my even realizing it. I've been attending Torah study on Saturday mornings when I'm available and am LOVING it, which has me seeking out other events - what else have I been missing out on?? It's like I want to be there whenever I can, and around my people and my rabbi and my cantor. And when I experience other rabbis and cantors, as I did today at our commemoration service which was a collaboration among four temple communities, I do so with a sense of curiosity and intrigue that ultimately leaves me feeling so appreciative of my own. It's a sense of home and comfort, and while I have loved Temple Tikvah since the first Shabbat service we attended, this sense of being drawn there, wanting to physically be in that space and wanting to be around our rabbi more, is newer.

My conversion feels more like an impending wedding than a graduation. It's not about a sense of accomplishment - it's about the anticipation of making a commitment that is very serious and very joyful at the same time, and that signifies how I will spend the rest of my life. I feel absolutely over the moon, and I can't wait until I can just say, "I'm Jewish" without any qualifiers.

I'm soooo eager for April 19, and yet not wanting to rush the in-between, because I know this is something I will never get to experience again. Every moment is precious.